"Puffy Face Moments" - Inspired by Ashley Judd

Picture: Reuters

About a week ago, humanitarian advocate/activist and actress Ashley Judd published an article in The Daily Beast, calling out sexism, misogyny and internalized norms of patriarchy rampant in our society - and frequently expressed public through "body-shaming" women. Apparently, and to my delight, this seems to have caused something akin to a movement, at least as far as the blogoshpere and social media such as Facebook, and especially Twitter, are concerned. 

This, in my opinion, is a truly exciting development.  The fact that attacks on a public figure  - a female public figure, to be precise - have led her not only to deny the so-called charges, but to turn them around, to use the situation in order to draw attention to a much deeper problem, and to reframe the situation is a brilliant, admirable, even courageous thing to do. Things could have taken a very different turn. One can easily imagine how taking a stand like this opens one up for further attacks and ridicule. Luckily for all of us, Ashley Judd was not deterred by this. Because of this, we can now observe first-hand the chord this is striking with women (and men) of all walks of life. The deep contempt with which we treat women's bodies as soon as they refuse to conform to some unattainable ideal of perfection, the deep-seated ageism leveled specifically at women, the assumption that women's bodies are ours to deconstruct, to criticize and objectify have all been brought to light. 

All of that, by itself, would be enough to applaud Ashley Judd for her words. But she didn't stop there, she in fact stated a lesser-known characteristic of patriarchy, and drew attention to the very essence of this particular, well-situated system of oppression: our own complicity. Knowingly or unknowingly, almost every single one of us, men and women, have internalized the values and norms of the omnipresent ideology. We apply it to other women, when we judge them, when we compare them to this unattainable ideal, but we also apply it to ourselves, and in this, we may be our own worst enemies. Almost every woman knows the feeling of looking at herself in the mirror and feeling shame about not meeting this internalized standard of perfection. We criticize our faces, our bodies. We may think our legs are too short, our butts are too big, our breasts are too small. We fret over wrinkles, pimples, and grey hair and spend enormous amounts of money on beauty products. If you've ever watched television shows geared towards female audiences and been foolish enough to watch the commercials, you will most likely have noticed that the overwhelming majority of products advertised are cosmetics, diet products or lingerie. Ashley Judd has pointed that out, and has been honest and courageous enough to admit to having participated herself. This awareness is crucial for understanding and changing how patriarchy affects women (and men) every single minute of every single day. It is not only "them", it's "us", and we might not even be aware -  or we might not want to be aware. Denial is a powerful human skill, and becoming aware of our own denials is the most crucial first step to changing the way this world works for women. Feminism has long tried to further this awareness through consciousness-raising, through the promotion of woman-to-woman bonding through which we all can (and have to) learn not to see other women as competitors, but as allies and friends. Patriarchy co-opts us by suggesting that we can elevate our own status, increase our worth in the eyes of society and men, by showing that we are not "like other women", that we are actually better than they are, and that we, too, have nothing but contempt for their imperfections. This, of course, is nothing but a big lie which has worked wonderfully against women's own interests, much like the old roman saying "divide et impera" (divide and conquer/rule) suggests.

If it's ok to ridicule, shame and humiliate Ashley Judd for her "puffy face", it is ok to do that to every woman. If it's ok to express contempt for Madonna because of her age, we pass the same judgement on every woman. If it's ok to call Hillary Rodham Clinton "emasculating" or a "bitch" (or any variety of the underlying concepts), we teach every woman that, if they show ambition and strive for powerful positions, they will have to suffer dire consequences - and, judging by the lack of women willing to run for office, many seem to have learned the lesson well. If it's ok to attack Sarah Palin not for her issue positions and policy stances, but as a woman, by sexualizing and objectifying her, it becomes ok to use this tactic against each and every woman we are uncomfortable with for whatever reason.

So, for all these reasons, we have to be grateful to Ashley Judd.